it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
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Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
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I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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