They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
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I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
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It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
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