I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize