if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Still dying that you shit outside
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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