my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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