bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize