Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize