Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize