batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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