i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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