i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
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I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
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When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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