How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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