im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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