Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize