I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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