Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize