he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize