Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
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It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
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There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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