the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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