He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
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You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
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She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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