My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But break dance skills will only take you so far
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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