Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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