FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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