JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize