from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We left the knife in your bed.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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