If that was your dad, he is hot
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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