The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I would ride that face into the sunset
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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