Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize