Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
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hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
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bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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