Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize