Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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