Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
She tied me up with her honor cords...
you inspire me to be a worse person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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