If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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