Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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