he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
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you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
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Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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