Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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