I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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