I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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