at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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