this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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