I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
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I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
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Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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