He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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