Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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