If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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