I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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