I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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