yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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