I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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