You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize