so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It's rum buckets o'clock
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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